A fun-filled and educational tour of DEL RIO, TX (San Felipe Del Rio) and THE "FRONTIER BORDER" including Ciudad Acuña, Lake Amistad, and the Mexican State of Coahuila, through the eyes of the region's most famous historical personalities, two self-proclaimed Titans of Spin, "The Goat-Gland Doctor" John Romulus Brinkley and "The Hangin' Judge, Law West of the Pecos" Judge Roy Bean.
to VAL VERDE County (TX) and the
State of COAHUILA, MX
"We’re Lost!"
A Complete selection of Routes to help you discover the the Future of Tourism in a region known for Frontier Lawlessness, Coal and Industrial Steel, Cowboys and Indians, Pristine Swimming in Desert Oasis off beaten track, Lost Treasure and found poverty, Dinosaurs, Ancient Indians and their Artwork, elegant rustic dining in urban settings, Kickapoo Indians, 300 pound fishtales, encampments of Escaped Slaves, Puma, Indians, and Rednecks in Hunting Ranches with Exotic Dancers Flora and Fauna, Routes outlined to Bike with Bears, Mystic Drugs induced visions and UFOs, the Pony Express and Youth in Ecstasy, even Nasa's Top Secret discovery of the Zone of Silence, laden with Clovis and Folsum and Ovalteen points to remember.
© 2002 Mark Plimsoll All content
Enjoy this regional tour of the last remaining rugged and pristine area of the Old West with the Two JRB*s’ Ghosts as guides. INCLUDES: Digitally Enhanced photos! Poems! Essays! Complaints, and flattery, insults, mistakes and outright lies, rants, raves, wines and whines, gunfights, advice on love and family violence just like on TV. Features engaging arguments mouthed by the Ghosts of the two JRBs*
WHO WERE THEY? Why? WHAT DO THEY WANT?
* Ghosts of Judge Roy Bean and Dr. John R. Brinkley,
Famously depicted in several movies, "Judge" Roy Bean tried to die on Mar. 15, 1903 but was too mean. Born in Kentucky around 1825, he was a cattle rustler in Mexico and a Confederate irregular before he dubbed himself "The Law West of Pecos" and served as a colorful Justice of the Peace on the American frontier. Starting in 1882, he sat on the bench in his own Saloon near the railroad construction camp called "Vinegaroon" just north of Del Rio, Tex. Due to his unrequited love for theater actress Lillie Langtry, he renamed the settlement Langtry in her honor and invited her to visit, which she never did. He became famous for his pithy administrations of justice, sometimes shrewd, sometimes arbitrary. He once convinced an insulted and hotheaded teenage boy to shoot a man in the back. Live and learn. In 1896 he tried to stage an illegal heavyweight championship fight on a sandbar in the Rio Grande to escape the laws of nations and offer a great Kodak moment, but rain dampened the event.
Quack "Doctor" John Romulus Brinkley, once World Famous as the "Goat-Gland Doctor", moved to Del Rio, TX to install and run the first and most powerful of 'Border-Blaster Radio Stations' from 1933 to 1946. Locally, he remains a folk hero, as a Medical Pioneer in inter-species transplants, and rumored to have founded the local hospital as becomes a great local humanitarian, well known for giving gifts to local Hispanic children on Christmas. Ostensibly a fervently religious man, he operated the Most Powerful Radio Station in History, single-handedly inventing Border-Blaster Radio, broadcasting from Villa Acuña, MEXICO to escape US Government intervention. He arrived with his coterie from Kansas to set up broadcasting Religious Fundamentalism, Spiritualism, The Story Lady, Fortune-telling, Baby Chickens, Autographed pictures of Jesus, Horoscopes, and his personal specialty of Jazz music and Rejuvenating Goat Gland Operations for aging men with prostate problems, sixty years before Viagra. Fabulously wealthy and the antithesis of humble, he mumly traveled the world in his three yachts to bring Galapagos Turtles and Penguins to Del Rio, wowing local citizens that would sit in a park he created in front of his house so they could watch his fountains dance with colored lights to the music thundering from the magnificent thirty foot pipes of his personal organ built into his three story mansion. Today, some people swear he had a tunnel to Mexico, swastikas in his swimming pool, and still suspect he transmitted coded messages to the Nazis with his pipe organ and radio. Beyond these local opinions, Brinkley is indubitably better known far and wide as the World's Most Successful Quack doctor, ever, period.
Just be careful who you say that to in Del Rio, Texas.
The Ghosts of spiflicated, raggamuffin Bean and the rakishly immodest Brinkley both wander the world in limbo through the quaking Val Verde's of their own deserted purgatory on a raucously remorseless mission of redress, redemption, rectification, rapprochement, reconciliation, and rehabituation as they pretend to ignore their own irrelevance.
ABOUT THIS BOOK:
Most of this book's pages were found scattered on the floor of a limestone cave along the Rio Grande / Rio Bravo, inscribed on several hundred goat and Mohair fleeces that have been carbon dated with absolute certainty into the last millennia. Commonly considered documental evidence of intelligent life in the surrounding area, if not the known universe, many still argue the point.
R E V I E W S :
"There is a machine. It evolved itself, and behold!--it knits. It knits us in and it knits us out. It has knitted time, space, pain, death, corruption, despair and all the illusions-- and nothing Markers. I'll admit however that to look at the remorseless process is sometimes amusing."
Joseph Conrad to his friend R. B. Cunninghame Graham
"Little is known of the veracity of these texts, and even much less of their truthfulness, though reportedly at least one small band of revisionists and reactionaries in Wisconsin adopted The Texts as "Sacred Words from two Holy Bovine Beings". Rumor has it both men still ride the border, searching for chorrizo and The Lost Spanish Armor made of pure Aztec Gold, dropped by heat-prostrate Spanish explorers and conquistadores into some lake, which they suspect was Lake Amistad. It'll be heartbreaking when they learn Amistad Lake was created in 1965 to 1968."
Jeffery "Jeep" Tonkien, former Vice-CEO of Gateway Computers
"The two JRBs are both ghosts of their former selves, awaiting some mysterious alchemic transformation that one day will earn them a place among the immortals on MTV or the televised version of People Magazine."
Lynne Russell, former News Anchor of CNT Television.
"Yet another symbiotic cosmological dilemma, between the two well-matched protagonists; the yin-yang respiration of philosophical gender clash, the war between the forces of Tradition and Change, of Instinct and Acculturation. Cowboy Judge Bean’s homespun homilies reject Knowledge as mere opinion, while Brinkley's cynically vacuous Worldliness and Technichological Proficiency winks uncaught sarcasm. These real men bask in their own swaggering certainty under the broiling West Texas sun, their feverishly flushed and sweaty opinions, ham-handed and swollen, drop as easily as abandon cattle. Their incessant braying and aggressive posturing serve only to fill the eternity of their purgatorial sentence, the sounds of their percolating pontifications gradually evolve into an ambient pleasantry, like birdsong, eventually decorating their existences with the baroque beauty of their pointless tangential evasions and incessantly bifurcating arguments. Even as Ghosts, these two, like us, will never admit to the inadequacies of their philosophies to describe a Universe beyond comprehension."
Dr. Alfonso D. Casonelli of the Universidad de Grecia in New South Italy West of Java, who wrote the definitive scholarly examination of "The Texts", as they became known.
I n t r o d u c t i o n :
by Dr. Wayne E. Harbinger.
"What we have here are the Ghosts of two local historical figures, "Law West of the Pecos" Judge Roy Bean, the notorious "Hangin’ Judge", a legend of the American Old West during the turn of the nineteenth century, immortalized many times in cinema and literature. The other man, John Romulus Brinkley, made himself world-famous during his lifetime and yet in modern times remains almost unknown, but still remembered with affection as a secret Folk-hero in several small communities (either as History’s Most Successful Quack Doctor and owner of the World’s Most Powerful Radio Station, or as a medical pioneer in trans-species implants to retore the virility of aging men. Ssshhh.). Both men, long since deceased, represent the conflict between tradition and progress, a conflict fundamentally Texan as Texas exists as the squall line between the Third World’s provincially superstitious equanamity to veiw all ideas as equally supersticious, and the First World’s reliance on cold, inhuman Empirical Knowledge and Applied Technology. The JRBs offer us a microcosm of the known universe clearly as valid as any other scholarly sketch, aberration, or exaggeration."
Dr. Wayne E. Harbinger, Professor of Theo-nucleics, University of Harvard Graphicals. Ibid 1994
"I pledge all Legions to the Flag
Of the United States of A Miracle,
And to the Republic for Witness Stand:
One Nation Underdog, Invisible,
With Libertine Justice for All."
Cerca 1850, Anonymously attributed to Judge Roy Bean, self-proclaimed "Law West of the Pecos"
This excerpt from the work "The Two JRB's Tour Guide of Val Verde and Coahuila", where the ghosts of "Doctor" Brinkley and Judge Roy Bean lead us around West Texas and Mexico for some great Coahuilan desert snorkeling, might soon be released as part of a publication on CD-ROM and hardcover coffee table book, both with high-resolution multi-media, sound, photographs, and artwork.
Contact System Administrator for more information.
All content and images Copyright © 2002 Mark Plimsoll. All rights reserved.