In this excerpt from the work "The Two JRB's Tour Guide of Val Verde and Coahuila",
our tour guides Dr. John
Romulus Brinkley and Judge
Roy Bean talk about
30' Cliffs near Scuba Cove:
View of
(See also Playa Tlaloc)
"Basically you got three options for swimming
on the
"Basically, Doc, why does anyone ever want to swim?"
"Basically, Judge, to keep from drowning, and to keep from smelling like a man who never takes off his sombrero."
"Basically what's that supposed to mean?"
"The river water comes from the hydroelectric chutes
under Amistad Dam, and so draws water from the deepest point in the lake.
In the summer the temperatures approach eighty degrees due to an average ground
temperature of seventy two degrees, but in the winter the temperature can drop
below fifty degrees as the cold dry air evaporates the huge water surface of
"The lake boasts around a thousand miles of shoreline administered by the National Park Service as a recreation area. Only a few points can be reached overland, where old highways still ramp down into the lake and allow people to put in boats. Governor's Landing on Highway Ninety West where it crosses the lake alongside the railroad bridge offers best swimming area, because there's always shade under the bridge. Otherwise, be sure to always bring your own shade. There is no shade at the lake, almost none anywhere.
"Anything to add to that, Judge?"
"You know I don't swim."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't take my boots off, and I don't take my like hat off unless there's a lady present.."
"That must give her a thrill. Oh, I forgot to mention skinny dipping at night in the summer. This is one of the Judge's favorite secret activities. Sometimes you can see him joyously standing on the shore, naked in all his glory, drip-drying in the warm night wind, beer can in hand because he knows we shouldn't take glass containers to the lake shore Sometimes he can be seen just after dusk where he sits nekkid as a jay bird on the hot white rocks, face and beard pointed upward, singing to the rising moon of the beautiful Lily Langtry…"
"Cut it out, Brinkley" Judge Roy growls, and growls again in warning, shaking a few small chunks of last week's lunch out of his beard.
Doctor Brinkley whispers, "Behind Round Mountain... a rope tied into a tree swings out over the creek, underneath a whirlpool with a slow gentle current will float you back upstream to enjoy another ride through a short stretch of fast current. Don't tell anyone."
Boating and fishing Lake Amistad
"Even before
"Your pulling my leg. I hope."
"NO! I'm serious as a dead coyote. Fish bigger'n you. Catfish, Bagre, chumleys, red-tails, stripers, surgeons. All of 'em good eatin' too."
"Surgeons?" says Dr. Brinkley, with a note of apprehension.
"Surgeons, a real ugly fish with big ol' scales and a trumpet mouth. Don't fight too hard neither."
"And with just what sort of rig did you catch those minnows with?"
"A fishin' pole. With a hook 'n fishline. Ain't you ever gone fishin'?"
"Oh I've tried deep-sea fishing from one of my yachts a time or two. That's why it puzzles me, how DO you catch such big fish with just a bitsy cane pole."
"Bitsy pole? The easiest way I done found, just cut one of them telelphone lines and tie a curved pitchfork on the end. Then you find some stray dog or something, maybe a goat with it's horns caught in a fence who's a-gonna die anyway, and stick it on the fork. Then you jes' fish, Doc. You do know how ta fish?"
"You probably saw fish swimming in the azure shadows of overhanging carrizo, pulled out your trusty rifle, and shot 'em."
"Why, Doctor! That would be illegal!"
"You never entered one of our many fishing tournaments that bring expert fishermen from all over this part of the world, have you?"
"It just wouldn't be fair, nowadays, for me ta git back inta fishin'. Look at how many telephone poles we got now. Real close by, too."
"Doc, you ever wonder what people wanna git all excited floatin' around underwater 'bout?"
"What?"
"Doc, you ever wonder what people wanna git all excited floatin' around underwater 'bout?"
"That's what I heard the first time, alright. You mean Scuba? So they can swim lke a fish, liberated from gravity or the need to breath air at the surface."
"Sounds like being dead, to me."
"Your Judgeship doesn't appreciate the beauty of the underwater environment, the schools of fish like clouds of silver bullets swimming in majestic planes of everchanging curves, the soft ondulations of banks of waterweeds, the tiny flowers and mercury air-bubbles, the exhilariation of a suprise encounter with a big fish, a turtle, or the other-world sensation of looking up at the sun through a cathedral of shafts of light from forty feet below the surface."
"But why here, Doc?"
"This has some of the clearest, cleanest fresh-water
on the planet. There aint's no cities near here, and the water arrives after
flowing through the rock adn gravel canyons of thousands of miles of
"Do tell, Judge."
"Ya needs ta find a soft place, maybe some stream gravel that's not too large, or sompthin' softer than limestone with cactus, to sleep on."
"Alright. Easy enough."
"An' ya needs ta find some shade."
"How do you find shade around here? This is big sky country, there isn't anything on the horizon but ants slinking along, belly to the ground."
"We're tree-challenged here, Doc."
"So you're saying always put on some sunscreen and a long-sleeve shirt?"
"Doc, I hates that greezy feelin' in my beard, da back o'my neck. You'd be wise ta do like the people who live and work here. Dress like a cowboy, cover yourself up and wear a cowboy hat."
"I think I'd rather wear one of those Mexican Sombreros. Bigger shade."
"Ya know what sombrero means in Spanish?"
"What?"
"It means dreams, Brinkley. Those Mexicans are always sleeping."
"Your Judgeship, you're mistaken.
Bring Your Own Shade
This excerpt from a real piece of work called "The
Two JRB's Tour Guide of Val Verde and Coahuila",
where the ghosts of "Doctor"
Brinkley and Judge Roy
Bean lead us around the Oasis of West Texas
and Mexico for some great Coahuilan desert snorkeling,
might soon be released as a hardcover coffee table book, part of a publication
on CD-ROM and with high-resolution multi-media;
photographs, sound and music, filmclips, artwork,
and textual ruminations.
Contact System Administrator for more information.
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© 2002 Mark Plimsoll. All rights reserved.